


Shotgun Blues

by ShippyBich



Category: Guns N' Roses
Genre: Angst, Depression, I wrote this as a way to vent because of how shitty my day was, M/M, Suicide
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-10-08
Updated: 2017-10-08
Packaged: 2019-01-01 04:34:28
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,123
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12148719
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ShippyBich/pseuds/ShippyBich
Summary: But she could of gotten it out of his hands, she could of saved him. She could have stopped Axl from killing himself...





	Shotgun Blues

**Author's Note:**

> I was really upset the day I wrote this, so I wanted y'all to feel my pain. Sorry.

 "I tried to stop him, I swear Jeffrey!" Erin cried. She knew Izzy  never cared for her much in the first place. The incident didn't help their relationship at all.

Izzy continued to give her the iciest glare with those stone cold eyes that he could manage.

He wasn't mad. Mad would be a mediocre term to describe how he felt. He never liked Erin much from the start. It wasn't like she was a bad person. But she was dating Axl. And that was enough for Izzy to dislike her. But now? What Izzy felt towards her since the incident had been despision in its purest form. He knew it wasn't like she had shot the gun herself. But she could of gotten it out of his hands, she could of saved him. She could have stopped Axl from killing himself...

**

_"Axl, please, let go of it!" Erin pleaded, desperately trying to wrestle the shotgun from his hands._

_Axl didn't say a word to her, he just kept trying to pull it up to his head._

_He didn't want to shoot Erin by accident, so he had to wait until the gun was facing him._

_After they played some twisted version of tug o war Russian roulette style, Axl had managed to finally pull the gun from Erin's hands to his right temple._

_"Please give me the gun, Axl," Erin begged._

_When Axl got his right hand on the trigger area, she screamed, "AXL, GIVE ME THE GUN!"_

_Suddenly, there was the sound of a shot._

_He had done it._

_**_

It had been days, and Izzy still wouldn't speak to Erin. But Erin knew. Izzy might've been the labeled as mysterious in the band, but it was no mystery to her what his feelings were towards her. Was there even a word intense enough to describe it? She imagined that if there was, it was probably a profanity of some sort.

Sometimes Erin regretted getting involved with Axl. She would admit that he had a lot of issues, and not to mention him being the frontman of labeled "the most dangerous band in the world". Erin wasn't proud of it, but she had enjoyed the extra fame she'd gotten while with Axl. She would prefer now not to go down in history as "Axl Rose's ex girlfriend who was wrestling with him for a shot gun, resulting in him shot dead" though. Even though that was the case in a way, wording it like that made it sound like something the tabloids would eat up, and something that would send her to jail.

**

"Jeffrey, please, say something to me," Erin pleaded. It had become an obssession. It was like she needed Izzy's approval of her. Hell, she knew that him and Axl fooled around on the side, even when she was with Axl. She thought she would of felt at least some sort of hate towards him, but here she was, practically kneeling at his feet, begging for some sort of adknowledgement other than eyes of stone.

-

Izzy was getting tired of Erin consistently trying to talk to him. What the fuck were they even supposed to talk about? 'You could have stopped the one person that was the most important thing in my life from killing himself'? For some reason he'd prefer to not pick that conversation off the shelf.

This whole situation could have made for some amazing Guns N' Roses songs to be written. If only they had someone to _sing_ them. Izzy laughed wryly at the thought.

He kept laughing, but only for the fear of crying.

**

Erin fastened the buttons on the front of her black dress, and leaned down to buckle her shoes of the same color. She knew the service would begin soon. But by this point, she didn't even know why she wanted to show up...

-

Erin and Izzy tried to avoid each other as much as possible. Well, the second tried to avoid the first, anyways. Izzy sat in front of the pews, and Erin sat in the back. It was probably for the best, especially on a day like this.

When the funeral director asked if anyone had anything to say on Axl's behalf, Izzy rose from his seat and walked to the front of the room. By the coffin.

Erin saw Slash and Duff stand briefly for a second, but they seated themselves quickly when Izzy stood up. The funeral director had nodded at him to come up and speak, but Erin had a feeling he would have begun regardless.

But when Izzy spoke, he didn't address the crowd. He leaned towards the coffin (it was closed for censoring the gunshot wound), and whispered something. Erin couldn't hear exactly what he was saying, especially since she was sitting in the back of the room, but it sounded something like:

"William Axl Rose, I love you."

Erin didn't even know who she was acknowledging anymore when she whispered, "I'm so sorry."

-

The funeral director said a quick prayer, and then the service was over. Erin had decided that she was going to get some word out of Izzy. Even if it was one of his signature 'no's', she was going to get him to say something to her. It was Axl's fucking funeral day, after all.

-

"Jeffrey!" She cried as she saw Izzy exiting the building. She saw him look back, then turn and start walking faster. Erin started running, hoping that she wouldn't trip in her heels. She saw some people murmering and looking at her like she was a freak, but to be fair, she probably was hated by about half of the congregation at the service to begin with since the incident, so she really didn't have much to lose.

"Jeffrey, please, wait, I have to talk to you!" She yelled, as she ran out the door and down the steps onto the parking lot. She turned right where she saw Izzy's car parked. Izzy was just grabbing his keys from his pocket (frantically), as Erin finally caught up with him. 

"Jeffrey, please listen to me! I tried to take the gun from him, I swear! But I didn't kill him Jeffrey, I didn't kill him! I didn't pull the trigger on that gun, Jeffrey, HE DID! HE KILLED HIMSELF!"

Izzy looked stunned at Erin's outburst.

"Please, say something," Erin pleaded for the final time.

 

 

 

Izzy paused, then spoke.

 

 

 

"Sometimes-" he cleared his throat, "Sometimes, it's easier to believe in a reality that you can live with than to accept one that you can't." After he said that, he got in his car, and drove away. 

 

 

 

Erin felt her stomach churn when she realized what Izzy was referring to.

**Author's Note:**

> I do believe I saw somewhere that Axl did try to kill himself with a shotgun, but Erin wrestled it from his hands before he could.


End file.
